"The Name of the Nose" from the Notebooks of H&H Donkey Detectives: Entry 6

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Inspector Hector and his mentor, Miff, were lazily but intently taking inventory of the flora growing near the Willows.

Inspector Hector was watching his old friend and admiring his keen sense of smell, sharper than his own, for Miff had no eyes.

"Ah Bluebells", said Miff, "they always wax poetic...let's see" he went on with a smile and ears brilliant with curiosity, "to see and yet not to see, that is the question! Look Hector! a few steps more and I would be standing at the very edge of this Ragwort!"

Amazed once again at his friend's abilities and with his own quickness and dexterity, Inspector Hector hurried to his friend's side and eased him away from the poisonous plant. "We shall make a note of this and report it straightaway to the removal crew. Thank you Miff, you are the best to find the difference between appearance and reality."

"Yes, I suppose the black wood of my mind holds many realities you can only imagine", sighed Miff.

"When I look at you, your soul looks from your eyes, no blackness there but a lively curious mind, though perhaps a soul tinged with melancholy? I as well, Miff. For today my mystery starved brain has strange thoughts. My 'little grey cells' are 'dans le grand peril' as Hercule would say."

With this, Miff was relieved to turn his thoughts to Inspector Hector's odd statement and decided to get him to discourse of his world.

With quiet gravity Inspector Hector went on, "I should be more like Hercule - his life is an open book! Why, that boy can have an unusual experience and it will profoundly affect him and perhaps change the whole course of his life! Me, I am a closed and clasped book, don't you think? Hercule told me the other day that I am not very good at 'moodling'."

"Moodling? does a Donkey have this tendency?" asked Miff.

"Hercule does", went on Inspector Hector, "and he says it is 'flourishing in long, inefficient, happy idling, dawdling and puttering', I'm not at all sure I will ever get the hang of it."

"Well! let's give it a go old chap! I will close my well...my soul and you close your eyes." And so Miff and Inspector Hector (who lovingly put down his clipboard), went into 'moodling' - prompting Inspector Hector (because of his advanced age) to fall asleep.

"Monsieur Hector! Monsieur Miff!", Hercule Poitou came running with his usual speed and with a worried look saw the two older Donkeys. He slid to a stop and said again in a softer voice, "Monsieur Hector? Monsieur Miff?"

Inspector Hector roused and opened an eye. Miff shook his head.

"Hello Hercule! guess what we were doing! of course Inspector Hector did not wait for Hercule to guess, "we were moodling!".

"You are what? Oh Mon Dieu my nerves! I concluded you were become shades!"

"Ha!" laughed Inspector Hector, what a singular speculation dear Hercule, but completely inaccurate as you can see."

"Oui oui Monsieur Hector and I am very glad of it! replied Hercule. But now I must tell you a secret I can hold no longer!...I think I have seen...a...a Unicorn!" Hercule bellowed awkwardly.

"A Unicorn?" Miff said. "My my, Hercule the legend of the Unicorn and our secret Donkey heritage is in every one of us! It may be frivolous and why Donkeys are so preferably altruisitic in their reasoning, but it is our story, and we would not exist without our stories."

"I need proof", said Inspector Hector flatly.

"Would you care to see the beautifully placed hoofprints? I found them myself and they lead me to...to (Hercule lowered is voice to a whisper) ...the Unicorn!"

"Why are you being so cryptic my dear Hercule?" whispered back Inspector Hector.

"Because I don't want the Unicorn...to be spirited away Monsieur Hector!", replied Hercule with his youthful urgency.

"And if it is a spirit dear boy", said Inspector Hector, "you must know from the moment they depart this life, they communicate very generously with those who listen."

At this, Hercule's eyes got very wide (though they were hard to see through his ever tousled fringe) and he began to quiver.

"Now, now come along Hercule and we will find your Unicorn and there is no prospect of danger, or I should not dream of stirring without you."

The day was waning, and Miff decided he would continue his practices of 'moodling' and they could report back to him anon.

"Come Monsieur Hector", Hercule's voice being but a tremulous warble, "this is what we are after through the evergreen hedges...Ah!...shhh...it speaks as well Monsieur Hector!"

Inspector Hector slowly peered though the opening in the hedges. He could not see very well as it was approaching dusk, but he put one eye to the hole and then the other. He did see something shadowy and beautiful! An exquisite profile, shaggy about the neck and hooves and tail tip, perfectly proportioned legs stretched out in delicate strength. And it was speaking! Inspector Hector then placed one long ear through the hedge...

"If we shadows have offended,
Think but this and all is mended:
That you have but slumbered here,
While these visions did appear."

"You see...or hear, I mean, Monsieur Hector?Is it the...Unicorn?!" Hercule stammered and his bottom lip began to tremble.

Inspector Hector placed his eye to the opening once again to get another good look and just then, the clouded moon was revealed and in the moonlight there was Mr. Khan reciting his favorite lines from Shakespeare and the rest of the Slade House Dozen dozing to the magic of his sonorous voice.

Inspector Hector smiled as he told Hercule exactly what he just saw and heard.

Hercule peeped through the hole as well, then dropped his head in embarrassment.

"Chin up dear boy and know you did very well and saved Inspector Hector from losing his day with no mystery to solve!", (positive reinforcement is a Poitou specialty) and Inspector Hector knew he must not discourage Hercule's quest.

"Let us go tell Miff of your little quest and he may have some more wisdom to add before bed", encouraged Inspector Hector.

Miff ended up telling Hercule his own story of the legend of the Unicorn and how all Donkeys carry their horns but no two legged can see them anymore for not believing. And he ended his story with something his groom read to him in a book by Lewis Carroll: "Well, now that we have seen each other", said the Unicorn, "if you'll believe in me, I'll believe in you. Is that a bargain?"

"Yes", sighed and snored Hercule as he promptly fell fast asleep.

Inspector Hector and Miff quietly strolled out into the evening air of the field by the sea. "What a beautiful evening Miff , and thank you for going out on the edge and enlightening young Hercule with your tale."

"You know Hector, as well as I", mused Miff, "that one must stand as close to the edge as possible without going over, because out on the edge you can see all kinds of things you can't see from the center."

"I can't see much of anything out here in the darkness with my aging eyes!" Inspector Hector laughed. "Dear Miff, I must make a notation to set up more lamps! Oh dear! my clipboard, I left it...!"

Miff shook his head, chuckled and pulled Inspector Hector's beloved clipboard from the bushes then said, "The evening of a well-spent life brings its lamps with it."

At this, the two old friends ambled to bed and to their own Donkey dreams.